Welcome to Europe’s ‘most sinful mile’ where kinky Brits watch festive porn in the forest & decorate sex toy trees
At first sight, the Santa Pauli Christmas market appears to be just another one, despite its enormous tree decked out with baubles and sparkling lights.
The market is renowned for its sensual take on the classic holiday shopping street, so those who are ready to go a bit further will be in for a very naughty surprise.
In addition to the customary amenities, this one-of-a-kind experience includes an adult-only tent tucked away in a “fir forest” that features strip performances, willy trees, sex toys, and even porn karaoke.
Despite being unconventional, being called “an erotic winter wonderland” is hardly surprising considering the region’s reputation.
The Reeperbahn, Germany’s red light district in Hamburg, is home to the Christmas stalls. It is known as Europe’s most sinful mile and is known for its sensual, often sleazy, side.
Dildo decorations and a willy tree
When you first arrive, the market appears to be just like any other, with a variety of family-friendly events, bratwurst to munch on, and mulled wine to drink.
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However, at other stands, ‘naughty nuns’ are selling kinky Christmas decorations, allowing customers to purchase a seductive lingerie figurine or a topless Santa bauble.
Despite the adult theme, it’s basically all a little bit of fun, and the novelty element appeals to the crowds of people who come to enjoy the festive atmosphere and laugh.
There is a kiosk selling glass dildos and butt plugs, which are so pretty that they could be hung on your Christmas tree if they weren’t so heavy, according to travel blogger Nell’s post on her experience going to the adult-only area.
One stand sells a variety of vibrators, and the willy tree is my favorite feature of Santa Pauli.
This gorgeous purple and silver tree is adorned with a plethora of glittering lights and tinsel, as well as willies of various sizes and colors on the trunk for extra flair.
Strip shows and ‘porn karaoke‘
Those who want to take it a step further can explore an 18+ “fir forest” and attend strip shows in an adult-only tent.
There are several acts to see, and as buyers purchase Christmas-themed sex toys, decorations, and chocolate or marzipan willies, strippers take off their festive costumes.
Drinks with naughty names—such as “Bordsteinschwalbe,” which means prostitute—are provided, and the frivolities are frequently hosted by a drag queen.
The actual action takes place in the Santa Pauli strip tent, where male and female strip performances take place every evening amidst a grove of fir trees, Nell continued.
“[There are also] erotic readings and even porn karaoke, where the words are replaced by uhhs and ohhs and ahhs .
With its props and crowd participation, the male strip show was funny, and Mum and I thoroughly loved it.
Another visitor went last year, and wrote inher online review: “When I visited Santa Pauli, I saw an oiled-up police man stripping for a mortified bride-to-be, as well as a dominatrix dressed in latex breathing fire.
“Pretty impressive, although I would have much preferred a stripping Santa!”
An erotic area
More generally, the area has always had a saucy reputation, and is very popular – approximately 20 million tourists visit Hamburg’s red light district.
The Pauli district is a bustling metropolis full of trendy bars, theatres and nightclubs, but also boasts a strip of brothels hidden behind a barricade, which bans women and under 18s.
And at night it really comes alive, with bright neon signs lighting up the sex houses, such as the eye-catching Pink Palace, which according to one escort website “boasts 60 international girls across five floors”.
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So with all this in mind, it’s hardly surprising when Santa is in Hamburg, a sexy surprise or two might be thrown in.
For anyone interested in seeing for themselves, the Santa Pauli Christmas market is open November 11 December 23, 2024.
Five UK Christmas markets to visit this year
York’s Christmas market boasts 75 decorated alpine chalets selling local crafts and gifts. Runs until December 22. You can also visitYorkshireYuletide Village in The Guildhall from December 3-20, for jewellery, art, textiles, soaps and ceramics. Seevisityork.org.
Have a glass of gluhwein while listening to live music in Chester. More than 80 market stalls, selling produce surround the giant tree. Runs until December 22. Pop into the medieval cathedral before January 5 to see more decorated firs. Seevisitchester.com.
With its lit-up fort, Pembroke Castle s market inWalesis beautiful. Celebrating its tenth anniversary, it runs for three days from November 29. Besides 80 stalls, there will be carol singers and musicians and Santa arrives on the Friday. Seepembrokecastle.co.uk.
Canterbury cathedral first hosted a Christmas market in itsKentgrounds in 1383 and now it s back. There will be wooden stalls, food and drink outlets, a carousel and live music. Runs until December 24. Seecanterbury-cathedral.org.
Manchester attracts millions of people to its markets in nine locations, including St Ann s Square and Piccadilly Gardens, until December 22. Stalls in Cathedral Gardens are open until December 31. Seevisitmanchester.com.
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